FRONTPAGE- Plan to eradicate hardcore poverty by 2008

JOHOR BAHRU- Poor people everywhere are rejoicing because of the statement the Prime Minister made after breaking fast with Johor Mentri Besar Datuk Abdul Ghani Othman at Saujana yesterday.


He had announced that the government plans to eradicate hard-core poverty by 2008, instead of 2010 as planned.





Among other plans that have been fast-tracked are

-"Making schools less redundant" which will be implemented in 2011 instead of 2014. The government means to make it "Mildly useful" by the set date.



-Flyovers and other public construction works will be upgraded from "Concrete death traps that fall on random people" to "Cracked Pillars that Look Dangerous" by 2016 instead of 2013.



- Standard response time for processing documents for the public will be changed from "Whenever im in the mood" to "After you fill in 20 irrelevant forms, stand in line for 3 days and finally stab yourself in the eye out of hatred and anger" in 2009 instead 0f 2010.



- Plans for toll-free roads will be implemented "On a cold day in hell", instead of "Never while human beings still live and breathe on this earth".




The government will also continue its efforts to help the "relatively" poor.

No announcement has been made regarding the situation of people in the "kind of poor"and the "poor enough to hate you bastards" income bracket.


as reported by Joseph Lax