FRONTPAGE- "The Real Bumiputera's"?

KUALA LUMPUR- The announcement by Scientific Research Group stunned the nation this morning.


Apparently through long and extensive research their scientists have discovered a small ethnic minority which was not included in the Bumiputera classification by the government, as true people of the land.


They released a chronology of tribes that had inhabited the land "before" the arrivals of Malays to the archipelago.


"As known by most Malaysians the Orang Asli inhabited this island, way before everyone else." says Dr. Harish Mohammed.

picture- privileged Orang Asli

"And they have been given as much privilege and help as Malay Bumiputera's and other people falling into that category."


"But now there is evidence to show that they were not the first here."


Their findings were that the very first living being to have reached the shores of the peninsula was a cockroach named Joe.

The reinstatement of Joe's rights are being processed and since he and his kin were around for a longer period they are seeking to give them extra privileges.



"They should be given more than the 30 percent equity rights, and a larger budget for their religious schools and places of worship."



The New Bumiputeras apparently worship bits of cheese that are found on the floor. "Legislation should be made that the citizens of Malaysia respect their beliefs and stop sweeping their floors when cheese falls on it." says Dr Harish.


as reported by Kandy K.