Sunday, October 15, 2006

RAMBLINGS-Increase in price of Rubber

Those of you who follow the commodities market (so easily misinterpreted as the commode market) will be aware that the price of Rubber is at a record high. At Rm 8 a kg there is a noticeable Urban-Rural migration pattern as people rush back to the plantations to tap rubber.

This of course will have a ripple effect as more openings in the “pay them as little as possible and who cares if they starve” category of jobs in the big cities.

In addition, all the people who “balik kampung” to work will be eating up the fresh fruits and veggies and thus limiting the amount that can be sent to towns, thereby increasing the price of fibre, which will lead to an increase in the cost of living etc etc.

However, the big question that is ranging through the perverted minds of accountants and economic experts is… how will this affect the price of condoms?

After all, if the price goes up, youngsters might not buy ‘em, this might lead to unprotected sex which may lead to a population explosion which might cause soaring prices of everything else…

So… what price rubber? (You’ll only get that joke if you go for OLD style humour)

The choice to use latex depends on ones moralistic and religious beliefs. The Karipanas Crew does not have an official position on the use of condoms.

as reported by The Rambler

Irrelevant Quote

Life ISN'T like a bowl of cherries or peaches. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorow.

From the editor

Hello dear readers,

Today is slow news day, and we have only managed to churn out two posts. A lack of relevant local news on Sunday is one reason (we do not like repeating material unless there is a significant development, e.g. no more AP stories unless a swamp creature eats Dr Muhammad Abdul Ghani. Or he eats his son. Or something to that effect.).

Another reason is that the writers are lazy bastards.

We encourage submissions to this blog, as a means to create discourse with our readers. It can be snap-shots, taken with your handy camera phones, or articles that you found funny/interesting/disturbing.

Another announcement is that as per request of one of the readers, we will accept suggestions on issues that you, the reader, think is worth investigating. Our in-house spies (who are also professional trapeze artists) will look into the matter for you.

And please survey the contents on our sidebar which has been painstakingly put together by one of the members of our crew, who is suffering from carpal tunnel syndrome now due to his hard work on our blog. This is due to monkeys who keep on messing up the html.

To new readers, please read the rules in my welcome post. Profanity is allowed, we consider it a beautiful way of expressing yourself.

Happy reading, and we hope the news was good for you.

the editor.

LOCAL NEWS- We support Fauzi, says religious leader.

KUALA LUMPUR- Takaful Malaysia's Syariah Department head Fauzi Mustaffar sent an e-mail to his staff earlier this month prohibiting them from extending greetings in conjunction with festivals such as Deepavali, Durga Pooja and Laksmi Pooja.

Since then he has been criticized publicly by numerous religious figures and public officials. Some have even called for his resignation.

However in this mass wave of protest, there are those who support his stance. A representative of the faith "Temple of Correct Dining-ware" or better known as "The Use the Right Dinner Fork You Heathen Bastards Religious Order" stated today that Fauzi's views are admirable.

picture- symbol of the "Temple of Correct Dining-ware"

"We preach the same thing in our faith. Our followers are forbidden from wishing holiday greetings to people of other less believable religions." He says that it signifies tolerance of their "false gods".

The religion also explicitly forbids the buying of holiday greeting cards. "Wishing a person joy and happiness while he celebrates his religion, means that you recognize that his demonic practice can bring joy and happiness. Therefore it means that you believe in that false god."

He says that even if that is not the intention, it would be an act supporting the deliverance of the misguided heathen to hell. "Which would be just as bad."he says sternly.

Among greetings that are forbidden are "Merry Christmas", "Selamat Hari Raya" (Happy Hari Raya) and "Selamat Hari Buruh" (Happy Labor Day). "Some of the more orthodox among us do not even wish infidels "good morning" as this would mean that they believe anything good could come out of their ridiculous religion."

"But I do not go so far as that. We still want to get along with everyone. We dont want to them to think we dont like them or anything like that." he says.

For more information on this religion, readers may consult the back of the boxes of cutlery and silverware under the headline "instructions".