SNIPPETS

Samy announces roads are safe to use
The MRR2 highway has been announced as safe to use. Citizens making their way back to their hometowns shall have additional routes to choose from to avoid traffic congestion.

Other highways which are still "Cracked Pillars of Doom" may be used as a more exciting alternative.




Dr M invited to UMNO General Assembly
Umno secretary-general Datuk Seri Radzi Sheikh Ahmad has sent an invitation to former Umno president Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad to attend the Umno general assembly on Nov 13.

UMNO officials hope that this will be a step towards reconciliation between the former Prime Minister and several high officials.

Citizens hope that he will "Unleash The Beast Within".




Prime Minister says to strengthen ties
In his Deepavali message Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi said that all Malaysians should celebrate Deepavali tomorrow with the spirit to further strengthen multi-racial ties and mutual respect and trust for one another.


He also said "bla bla... happiness is shared .. bla-bla..rhetoric crap.. bla bla.. friends .. bla bla rhetoric crap".


And something about joy. Or maybe small boys.





Jumping queue a major cause of accidents
Deputy Internal Security Minister Datuk Johari Baharom said that jumping queue was the main cause of traffic accidents which tallied up to 3,175 since last Tuesday. In the last three days the police have issued 10,000 summons for offences such as these.


Other contributing causes are "being ridiculous bastards" and "acting like impatient monkeys."




Fake Goods seized at Bazaar
Negri Sembilan Domestic Trade and Consumer Affairs enforcement officers who raided the stalls and seized more than RM50,000 worth of fake goods in Ampangan on Wednesday night.


Operation Extreme Redundancy is going right on track, say experts and one random man.





as reported by Mickey D.