LOCAL NEWS- Police to hunt down evil people

KUALA LUMPUR- In concurrence with their roles as enforcers of justice, the police are setting up a special task force to track down what may be the very root of all evil.



1,426 young people have failed to turn up for National Service training. Reports have been circulated of the formation of a cult consisting of these very people.

This cult worships, what is reported to be a "god with horns". Experts speculate that this may be Satan, or an intimidating looking goat.




Pamphlets have been found with the basic tenants of its belief in various schools. It forbids;

i) the use of blue camouflage outfits in green surroundings
ii) spending long periods in jungles while listening to mindless drivel
iii) drinking milk




Due to the level of danger that this cult poses to society, the police are not holding back. "We do not have a special department to deal with this issue, but we have roped in investigating officers to form a temporary team to track them down.



In a final bid before the nation-wide crackdown, the police are calling upon the misled youth to turn themselves in.

"I advise all of them to report to the nearest police station or we will track you down." says Federal CID deputy director Datuk Mokhtar Hassan.



To date however none of the NS dodgers/cult members have responded to this final act of mercy. The cult is reported to call itself "People Who Really Have Better Things To Do."


as reported by Jae M.