LOCAL NEWS- Killer emu's roam loose in Klang

picture-killer emu

KLANG- Killer emu's have been sighted in various areas in Klang Valley.


"We think that they escaped from one of the zoo's" says one local forest ranger, Hamid Hussein. The emu's are ingenious at concealing themselves from the naked eye. They conceal themselves in various rubbish heaps that can be found in the Klang area.


"Also, most people are too hungry to notice a killer emu this fasting month."




One unfortunate victim is Klang Umno Puteri chief Roselinda Abdul Jamil.


Killer emu's have a liking for human eyeballs. "It is a natural instinct for them. They come from the African continent, where eyeballs can be found everywhere because people die carelessly in random places." says Hamid. He admits that this is irresponsible behavior on the part of African people.

"They have created monsters."




Today, in responding to the barrage of criticisms concerning her appointment as municipal councillor along with her father-in-law and brother-in-law she announced the horrible tragedy that had befallen her.


"I cannot see." she said to the surprise of reporters.


picture- Roselinda, before the horrible tragedy.


Roselinda was attacked while at home with her father-in law, brother-in law, grandmother, maid, and Hassan, the family iguana, who are all coincidentally also Klang Municipal Councillors.





"This is an attack against the Klang Municipal Council."says Roselinda. There are no records of killer emu's having political aspirations. She says it may be her many political enemies or outraged citizens who let the killer emu's into her place of residence.


Her eyesight is damaged permanently. She may have her drivers license revoked, but this is not an issue with her as she has already hired a driver so as not to endanger other citizens. The driver will be nominated as Klang Municipal councillor in the next following year.




Referring to the unreasonable behavior of Klang residents who disagree with having all the members of her household in the Klang Municipal Council she says,“I do not see anything wrong as all of us were appointed councillors in our different capacities,” said Roselinda.


This, experts say is understandable as she has lost all capability of seeing after the vicious attack.


as reported by Edie J.