FRONTPAGE- The Haze- The real cause

KUALA LUMPUR- The haze in Malaysia has turned into an annual event. Indonesia has been held responsible for the health hazard creeping into the borders of of its neighboring countries. The patience of its fellow ASEAN members is wearing thin.

Public animosity has risen due to fact that Indonesia is seen as lethargic in dealing with the problem despite having ratified the trans boundary agreement on haze.

It has been concluded by several research groups however that the Indonesian government is not completely responsible for this reoccurring crises.

Apparently the main cause for the forest fires are smoking monkeys.

picture-smoking monkey

"We have been trying to get them to quit for the longest time," says forest ranger Hamidoon Bambangsila. "They just rip off nicotine patches, and they never commit to twelve-step programs we try to get them into."

The monkeys cause the forest fires by carelessly dropping cigarettes without properly extinguishing them. "We've had various campaigns to educate them about the importance of disposing cigarettes in a safe way, but they just wont listen."

Recently the monkeys have also started smoking marijuana, stolen from dealers in the city area. "Now its even harder to control them. How are you going to talk sense into stoned monkeys?" says Hamidoon.

picture-stoned monkey

When asked if they have consulted experts on solving this problem the forest ranger lets out an exasperated sigh. "We did. They said "They are monkeys. What do you expect?" Until this monkey smoking epidemic is solved, the haze will continue to be a yearly event.

as reported by- Jade L.