From the editor

Greetings readers.


We would like to thank all of you who have sent us positive feedback, criticisms, and slightly disturbing naked images of yourselves.


I take that back. Make it very, very disturbing.



The Karipanas Crew would like to wish all of you Selamat Hari Raya, and Happy Deepavali. To worshippers of Satan, stay strong, it will be over soon.


We will still be working during the holidays, and hopefully there will be more to report about other than cars crashing into each other.



I am using a lot of space in this post so that it seems that I am writing a lot, when Im not. Clever trick ey?



Happy reading.


the editor


"all that is required for evil to triumph is that good men do nothing..."

From the editor

Greetings readers.


We would like to apologize for our late posts today. There is no real reason why. We are just lazy bastards.



Secondly, we would like to announce that we have a karipanas forum, located at the sidebar. This is a unique forum, as unlike other forums where you have to register, follow anal-retentive rules and get constant warnings from the moderator, we allow you to roam freely like wild animals.



You can say anything you want, the same rules apply as to the comments made here. There is a registration request, and you may choose to register but you may also post replies as a guest.


We dont care either way.




Thirdly, one reader submitted that our poll had too many choices and people would not make time to read all of the choices. The point he has made is valid. Dyslexia is common these days. From now on, polls will have less answers to choose from to cater to the abject laziness of our readers. Thank you for your support, and happy reading.



the editor


"all that is required for evil to triumph is that good men do nothing..."

From the editor

Greetings readers,


We are happy to announce that karipanas has reached "1000" visitors in the first two weeks of its creation. It may be 20 people who have nothing to do but click on the same page 100 times a day, but we still consider it an achievement.



Thank you to all who have come, and commented. We hope that you help us in spreading the word about this newsblog, or if you do not have adequate interpersonal skills, you can kidnap random people on the street to help do it for you. We advise that you release them after that, or at least ensure that they are washed and fed daily.


Some of you have posted links to this newsblog, and we highly appreciate the gesture. It shows that there are people who care about this country.





The second issue is that I want to formally announce our policy on comments.

You can say anything you want, as we believe in freedom of speech. Quoting Voltaire "I do not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."


It also means that we can say anything we want in response. Racist, prejudiced and downright ignorant comments will not be deleted. We will just tell you that you are a scumbag bastard and that you can rot in hell, or something to that effect.


Happy reading.


the editor


"all that is required for evil to triumph is that good men do nothing..."

From the editor...

Greetings readers. Here are a few answers to questions that you have sent us.


a) Who are the members of the Karipanas Crew?

Please refer to my Welcome Post. And yes, Im serious.


b) Arent you guys afraid of getting in trouble?

No.


c) Who are these crab creatures?

They are crabs, but bigger. And with an evil agenda.


d) Are you a boy or a girl?

The important thing is I am not a crab.


As you can see, we work hard to please you readers.

The first announcement is that there will be an international news column, even though we say we specialize in local news (as stated in our side bar) we lie all the time.


Secondly, we have set up a poll at the side bar, and we hope you participate and vote. Multiple voting is allowed, because we also cater for readers with multiple personalities.



Recently there has been a lot going on in the news about "rempit raids". I personally detest these sub-humans, and for the first time in my life I agree with the government and the police. Since they are now on the "hate-list" I presume killing them will not result in any legal consequences.



Anyone who brings me the head of a "mat rempit" will be rewarded handsomely. Maybe a writer to use as a pet, or slave. Or table. Your choice. Limbs are also acceptable. When else can you release the psycho-killer inside you? Happy reading.

the editor

"all that is required for evil to triumph is that good men do nothing..."

From the editor

Hello dear readers,


Today is slow news day, and we have only managed to churn out two posts. A lack of relevant local news on Sunday is one reason (we do not like repeating material unless there is a significant development, e.g. no more AP stories unless a swamp creature eats Dr Muhammad Abdul Ghani. Or he eats his son. Or something to that effect.).


Another reason is that the writers are lazy bastards.

We encourage submissions to this blog, as a means to create discourse with our readers. It can be snap-shots, taken with your handy camera phones, or articles that you found funny/interesting/disturbing.



Another announcement is that as per request of one of the readers, we will accept suggestions on issues that you, the reader, think is worth investigating. Our in-house spies (who are also professional trapeze artists) will look into the matter for you.


And please survey the contents on our sidebar which has been painstakingly put together by one of the members of our crew, who is suffering from carpal tunnel syndrome now due to his hard work on our blog. This is due to monkeys who keep on messing up the html.



To new readers, please read the rules in my welcome post. Profanity is allowed, we consider it a beautiful way of expressing yourself.


Happy reading, and we hope the news was good for you.


the editor.

Welcome message from the editor

Welcome, readers of karipanas.

I would like to thank all of the visitors to this website for taking time out of your busy schedules to come here. Our reporters work hard and they are not paid for their blood, sweat and tears. This is because it is enough for them to know that they are getting important information across to Malaysians everywhere.

(They are also mostly refugees from war-stricken countries who are locked up under my basement. One, is a talking monkey.)




Everyone is welcome to comment on our articles, and make suggestions about how to make this newsblog better. We are always looking to improve. If the comments are offensive, to race or religion, we will send ninjas to hunt you down and kill you.



There is a chatbox cleverly embedded at our sidebar, and we hope that you announce your visit in that manner.


Even if our blog tracker tells us that "x" amount of people have visited this site, we need to know whether it was a human being or those damn crab creatures surfing the net for crab porn. (DAMN YOU CRAB PERVERTS! DAMN YOU!)


Thats all for now, and I hope that you continue to read karipanas, if only for your own mental health. We only give you news that is good for you.


the editor